How to Respond to Disrespect Like a Leader
How do you respond to disrespect?
a lot of silence. So often if you just wait 10 seconds, you're going to add distance between what they said and how you're going to respond. They're saying this to get something out of you because in that moment they're feeling something, whether it's a fear and insecurity, whatever it is, you're not going to deliver on that same plane that they are. So somebody says something disrespectful, you give enough silence to make sure that it's a little awkward and then you're going to say something to the effect of that's below my standard for a response.
All of a sudden, you're now making it clear that what you just said was beneath me. And I don't respond to things that are beneath me in that way.
So first off, Mel, love your podcast. Second, here's how you respond to disrespect. You punch him in the face. You kick him in the mouth. You throw hot water on... No, I'm joking. But, you know, there was a time. There was a time. You know, you'll see us in suits and kaftans and think we know how to go there. We just choose not to.
I love this video, love this video. I think especially in today's world of social media, I said to somebody the other day, I said, you know, human beings were not built for the level of interactivity that we have today.
You weren't designed for it. Do you recognize that never in the history of Homo Sapiens Sapiens have we been as available, connected, and as interactive as we are today? Never. It used to be that the people you took feedback from were the people in your immediate environment. It was your partner in your home. It was the children in your home. It was your family. Then it was the people with whom you shared a street and the people with whom you shared a community.
The biggest response or feedback you would get from people is at a community hall. If you were presenting something today with just the device in your pocket, somebody clicks an ad no matter where in the world they are. And if you're available online, they will find you and they will send you a message without curation, without permission and without instruction. They will just send you whatever vile thought that they're having at the back of their minds. And so learning to
Kahl, the level of feedback that you're taking back, I think is a sure sign of emotional intelligence in the world today. But I absolutely love this, and I'm definitely going to apply it, take time, and I love that.
That thing is below my standard of a response. I'm just not willing to engage with you at that level. And so if you want me to engage with you, raise your level of argument rather than reduce me to your level of attack. So good, so good. Enjoy that.
How to Respond to Disrespect Like a Leader
How do you respond to disrespect?
a lot of silence. So often if you just wait 10 seconds, you're going to add distance between what they said and how you're going to respond. They're saying this to get something out of you because in that moment they're feeling something, whether it's a fear and insecurity, whatever it is, you're not going to deliver on that same plane that they are. So somebody says something disrespectful, you give enough silence to make sure that it's a little awkward and then you're going to say something to the effect of that's below my standard for a response.
All of a sudden, you're now making it clear that what you just said was beneath me. And I don't respond to things that are beneath me in that way.
So first off, Mel, love your podcast. Second, here's how you respond to disrespect. You punch him in the face. You kick him in the mouth. You throw hot water on... No, I'm joking. But, you know, there was a time. There was a time. You know, you'll see us in suits and kaftans and think we know how to go there. We just choose not to.
I love this video, love this video. I think especially in today's world of social media, I said to somebody the other day, I said, you know, human beings were not built for the level of interactivity that we have today.
You weren't designed for it. Do you recognize that never in the history of Homo Sapiens Sapiens have we been as available, connected, and as interactive as we are today? Never. It used to be that the people you took feedback from were the people in your immediate environment. It was your partner in your home. It was the children in your home. It was your family. Then it was the people with whom you shared a street and the people with whom you shared a community.
The biggest response or feedback you would get from people is at a community hall. If you were presenting something today with just the device in your pocket, somebody clicks an ad no matter where in the world they are. And if you're available online, they will find you and they will send you a message without curation, without permission and without instruction. They will just send you whatever vile thought that they're having at the back of their minds. And so learning to
Kahl, the level of feedback that you're taking back, I think is a sure sign of emotional intelligence in the world today. But I absolutely love this, and I'm definitely going to apply it, take time, and I love that.
That thing is below my standard of a response. I'm just not willing to engage with you at that level. And so if you want me to engage with you, raise your level of argument rather than reduce me to your level of attack. So good, so good. Enjoy that.
The TikTok video by Vusi Thembekwayo titled “How to Respond to Disrespect” offers a deeply resonant lesson in emotional control and personal leadership. In a world where instant reactions and emotional outbursts are the norm—especially online—Vusi suggests a completely different approach: silence. Instead of retaliating or raising your voice when disrespected, he advises taking a deep breath, pausing for 10 seconds, and calmly responding with the phrase, “That’s below my standard.” This response disarms the aggressor, reclaims power, and draws a firm boundary—all without escalating the situation or lowering yourself to their level.
The core message is that true maturity isn’t about avoiding conflict—it’s about handling it with grace. Vusi contextualizes this advice within the modern era of hyper-connectivity, where people can send criticism and insults without filters, from anywhere in the world. His point is clear: humans were never designed to receive so much feedback from strangers. Emotional intelligence, therefore, isn’t just valuable—it’s necessary for survival in the digital age. The ability to choose when and how to respond is a mark of wisdom, not weakness.
This video went viral because it taps into a universal experience: being disrespected and unsure how to respond without regret. The message is practical, memorable, and instantly applicable. It empowers viewers with a powerful phrase and a strategy that feels both dignified and effective. Vusi’s calm, authoritative tone, combined with his personal charm and storytelling, adds authenticity that resonates across cultures and age groups. In just a few seconds, this reel delivers a masterclass in self-respect, restraint, and leadership—making it not only powerful, but highly shareable.
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